Indicast # 106: 25 Years and Still Waiting

Thanks Potamus. Corrected it to homicide.

Abhishek/Aditya,

At the outset, thanks a million for mentioning me by name!
I feel on top of the world! Imagine! The entire internet world can now hear my name. You have advertised my insignificant presence to the entire world. What an honour!

I am reminded of the days of Vivid Bharati's "farmaishi" programmes where listeners sent in requests for their songs and strained their ears to see if their names were mentioned by the jockey when he used to announce : "Faramish karne waalon ke naam hain ....". If one was lucky, one heard one's name. Otherwise it would often merge with ".... aur unke bahuth se saathi"

There was a time when seeing one's name in print was a heady feeling. Today it is seeing one's face on TV perhaps! Since that may never materialize, I will content myself with this great achievement of having my name recorded for posterity in the archives of India's leading podcast.


I also apologise for this late response. I have been pre-occupied this week and found time to listen only today, this Sunday. But I did send out a short message a few days ago. I had not yet listened to your podcast then.


Here we go:

Bhopal gas tragedy.
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You were just three when it happened. I was 34.
I remember that cold winter day in Bangalore.
The full horror was not known when the news first broke out.
That became evident much later. So it didn't create such a sensation on the first day. In fact I'm not sure if it was headline news even.

The company was a well-known multinational called Union Carbide better known for its popular Everready betteries. Their emblem shows a cat jumping out of a loop shaped as number 9. The cat is supposed to have nine lives and I presume the company wanted us to believe their batteries too had as many.

Too bad, their victims have just one life and UCIL has managed to ruin it for ever.

My brother-in-law (a Chemical Engineer) was a Union Carbide employee those days and was mercifully out of Bhopal on tour and he escaped the tragedy. He had to find another job quickly and he struggled to find one. His record of service there would have added value to any resume but Union Carbide had become so notorious that his service there acted as a blot on his resume.


This tragedy must open our eyes to the horrors of Biological warfare. If this is what can happen in an accident, imagine what the results will be if an enemy actually uses biological weapons in a war with the intent to kill.

If in 25 years the matter is unresolved, I think it may never be resolved at all. It will join the list of unresolved issues like Kashmiri Pandits, Anti-Sikh Riot victims, Gujarat riot victims, and the more recent 26/11 victims and find an honorable mention in the list of unflattering events in the history of our country.

I feel sorry for the victims. As you said what can we, ordinary people do about it? Nothing. I can only pray that God ensures justice for them in their next birth at least if not now. But try telling that to the victims!

Absent MPs
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Nothing surprises me any more.
Former PM Devegowda has been caught napping.
Others have thrown chappals and at each other.
Some have asked for money for asking questions.
This is just one more in the list.
Let's wait for the next.

India is #1 in test Cricket.
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Too late. Test cricket is now dying. Being #1 in a dead sport is not satisfying at all. Besides this position has been reached by a fortuitious combination of numbers manipulated in accordance with some presently agreed method of processing. These numbers change dynamically every month as more tests are played by others I will be surprised if we will retain this position for long. To be frank, whatever the numbers may say now, when test cricket is finally given a permanent burial by all countries, the final figures will show Australia at the top followed by South Africa. I am ready to hazard a guess that India will be accorded an honourable third position.

Tiger Woods.
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Needless hype. This is a personal family matter.
It should concern his wife and not the rest of the world.
I am reminded of Bill Clinton and Monica Lewinsky. That was a lot more salacious.

But even their adventures will pale when compared to the sexploits of some of our Maharaajas of pre-Independent India.

On Tiger Woods, I recently received a slightly naughty joke.
Here it is:
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It is near the Christmas break of the school year.

The students have turned in all their work and there is really nothing more to do. All the children are restless and the teacher decides to have an early dismissal.

Teacher: "Whoever answers the questions I ask, first and correctly can leave early today."

Little Johnny says to himself: "Good, I want to get outta here. I'm smart and will answer the question."

Teacher: "Who said 'Four Score and Seven Years Ago'?"

Before Johnny can open his mouth, Susie says: "Abraham Lincoln."

Teacher: "That's right Susie, you can go home."

Johnny is mad that Susie answered the question first.

Teacher: "Who said 'I Have a Dream'?"

Before Johnny can open his mouth, Mary says, "Martin Luther King."

Teacher: "That's right Mary, you can go."

Johnny is even madder than before.

Teacher: "Who said 'Ask not, what your country can do for you'?"

Before Johnny can open his mouth, Nancy says, "John F. Kennedy."

Teacher: "That's right Nancy, you may also leave."

Johnny is boiling mad that he has not been able to answer to any of the questions.

When the teacher turns her back Johnny says:

"I wish these bitches would keep their mouths shut!"

The teacher turns around: "NOW WHO SAID THAT?"

Johnny: "TIGER WOODS. CAN I GO NOW?"
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Regards
G Vishwanath