Love, Sex & Dhokha – A counterview
By Guest Blogger at 29 March, 2010, 10:50 pm
Love Sex & Dhoka, its impact on me as a women and the whole question of social responsibility.
It all started when someone (a male) asked my husband in my presence, “Have you seen the movie Love Sex & Dhoka?” and made the following comment “Dude! Do watch it; it’s fun but not meant for girls. So go with your guy friends; you will enjoy it.
I as a woman feel very dejected when people in my country and my society say, “This is meant for girls/women and this is not meant for them.” Men decide and the women follow and it becomes a culture.
I made it a point to see this movie, co-incidentally it was me my husband and his three male friends.
In the movie, there are three different short stories that no doubt depict the reality that exists at a few places in our country, but the way in which the reality is shown, I am left with questions. Has the audience really looked at reality? After watching the movie, will there be at least 10 out of 10,000 who will be motivated to do something about the cruelty that exists and change the situation for the society? If not then the movie makes no sense and lastly what is the message that each one has taken home?
I say this because my experience while watching this movie was that women in the movie were grossly commented on were insulted left right and center and were shown being treated as an object, and all the insensitive men & women in the audience were laughing their heart out adding to the comments enjoying the cruel drama. Is this what we call entertaining ourselves, laughing at on a harsh reality. And this precisely has happened because the mirch masala & the gali galoch are so highlighted to make it an entertaining package that our eyes and ears are not even sensing a pinch of the message. I do not know whom to blame.
This is no entertainment. This is no awareness and this is no culture. Then what is it? Is there a need for this? What good is it doing? Where are we heading towards? These are basic questions that our society needs to ask, not just pretend to.
I will not be surprised to see teenagers in college and the road side mawalees commenting “muje to nangi aachi lagti hai”.
If this is the language & attitude of people in some part of India/world, instead of doing something to curb it we are spreading it all over and also making huge money out of it, in the name of showing reality to the public. I think the Censor Board was sleeping or sorry had eyes very wide open, to not to look at the damage this is making.
Even more annoying is the hypocrisy that exists in our society, a man would love and enjoy thoroughly to look at the girl in pink dress dancing in the so called item number in the movie, with all his lusty eyes, but outside the theater if some one looks with bad eyes on his sister or wife he will get furious.
Dialogues like “Kali ho ya gori, bina kapdo ke har ladki aachi dikhti hai” makes me feel sick and angry because that is a comment on me as well. And guess what I paid to here this nonsense for myself. Whoever is responsible for putting this dialog in the movie owes an apology to me, to women at his home and family and all the other women in our society.
What kills me is the casual attitude of people when they say this is what happens, this is how guys talk & behave, this is how women are treated there.
EXCUSE ME!
You may talk and behave the way you may want to. But if it involves me or my community I shall not tolerate this nonsense. Sadly I get to know that the script writer of this movie is a women and I really want to know and will know soon what was in her mind and how does she feel about the outcome.
To my strength and knowledge, I shall do as much possible to voice this out.
The author of the post, Nikita is an Organisational Development Trainer and has a keen interest in Human Behaviour and Human development.
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Dear Nikita
We all live in a hypocritical society. And that is a matter of fact. We want all girls to be babes except the girls at our homes. And we think that is what Indian Culture is all about. In fact , we all do not know what is culture. We are completely ignorant / confused about it.
We all are prisoners of a “Social Conditioning” where our mind refuses to look beyond the obvious.
Akhilesh Mattoo
Nikita,
I respect your opinion here. Although, as an aspiring member of the film community, I feel it’s my duty to try and change the filter through which you have seen this film.
LSD, is not guilty of all that you have accused it off. It is a film which has brought out the exact same questions which you have put forth. Do see a film, as an art form, in the context that it must be viewed in. Can art change society? ‘Maybe not’ is the realistic answer. What art does, at best, is to act as a mirror to what goes on. Art may also point at a few ‘way outs’ or answers, but then it is blamed for being pedantic (Swades being an excellent case in point).
Art-house cinema (also abused as elitist, intellectual, boring, financially unfeasible, doomed for commercial failure - cinema) and believe you me, LSD is from this genepool, raises questions on what goes on in society, sometimes being the crystal ball to show what COULD BE if we don’t take stock of things in the present, or how things WERE. LSD mirrors the contemporary society and makes poignant points. It doesn’t SHOWCASE the depravity in our current times, it plays it out to be able to show us what we have come to.
What must cinema do otherwise? Be foolish and inane (Akshya Kumar school) or be fluffy entertainment (the Yashraj / SRK / Kjo school)? K Jo claims Dostana to be the film that brought ‘gayism’ out of the closet and made a huge social impact in India. Would you rather agree with that?
I only make this argument because I believe Dibakar to be among the front-runners in our intellectual cinema society today. He not only makes socially relevant films (khosla ka ghosla), but also keeps them so subtly poignant (Oye lucky lucky oye) that sometimes its poignancy is missed, or if I may so argue based on your opinion, misread.
Sure we live in a hypocritical society, we have for eons. Sure men letch at women, sure the self-proclaimed crossbearers of our culture and tradition are only helping in f**king it up further etc… but the film doesn’t play on those elements to a PROFIT (unlike an MNIK where an utterly juvenile story of an autistic nobody suddenly became a national political issue).
Worse has been said of cinema. Unfortunately, it is directed at the wrong examples.
I would beg you to go hold your husband’s friend by the collar and ask him WHY he said what he did or thinks the way he does, instead of accusing this film of being socially irresponsible and demeaning. Our society is not hypocritical, lecherous and degenerate BECAUSE of cinema. LSD is showing us what we ARE, not what we SHOULD BE.
Cinema, as with any other potent tool (even akin to a nuclear device) could be used to a beneficial end or to a malicious / degenerate one depending on whose hands it is in.
I’m asking you to reconsider your view of the hands in this case.
second ur thoughts K…!
Nikita,
After watching LSD, i certainly agree with your thoughts…such movies definitely DOES not reflect our society in general.